Damn Dyslexia

The trials of being dyslexic are often frustrating. I find it challenging to sequence tasks. I have now realised I have a short attention span. So, as everyone is in lockdown, I have plenty of time to play with mind maps. Get ideas together, open the laptop and start drafting a book. Yes, I can hear everyone laughing now. Imagine a dyslexic person thinking of drafting a book! Imagine people’s surprise when you say the late Agatha Christie had dyslexia. Yet, she has written sixty-six detective novels revolving around fictional detectives. She has one of the longest-running plays “The Mouse Trap” and sold over a billion books.

I have joined a writing class on Zoom. Our fierce leader Iain McKinnon decided to add a comment to our creative writing group. As a dyslexic writer himself, he was disappointed he had not reached his word count on his latest Zombie novel. This made me feel better, due to the fact my dyslexic brain keeps convincing me to do other things. It’s a beautiful sunny day why sit in the house and write? Go out and enjoy the sunshine and dig a bit in the garden. The sun is out again, go for a nice long walk. The reality is that the project needs to be finished, get a coffee with a bit of cake, and finish it.

So, I miss face-to-face meetings with a group. It is lovely to sit around the table with people listening to everyone’s different ideas. Iain begins by informing us that there are writing rules. Now sitting in a room full of dyslexics the subject arises. How do you spell that? There are times when my spell check runs away! I do not have a clue. I remember as a child asking my mum how to spell physics. My mum’s advice was to look up the dictionary. I wasted hours looking under F. I didn’t understand a silent PH. I still think physics should be spelt Fizziks.

Going through my writing classes on a Saturday morning, Iain informs us that you need one hundred thousand words for a book! I struggle to find two thousand for an essay. I know some people would inform me that this is so easy man. I have Robin Williams screaming in my head “Help me!” Upon talking about his dyslexia, he said he would go “trick or trout” at Halloween. Parents saying you better get some fish as the Williams kid will be out tonight.

I will take my mind off this. I will watch The Matrix and draw wonky pictures. I will let out the Picasso in me. Do something abstract. Watch a bit of MasterChef enter the kitchen to be Nick Nairn for the evening. I have started a great many projects with my creative writing. I must keep them and according to Iain, they may be rubbish. Going back to them with text-to-speech, you can alter and improve from the first edition. My brain has wandered off into a silly place. I cannot remember what I started with, press save and hope I remember later. I may draft a novel about a dyslexic blonde zombie who craved Brian’s. I am presently going to stick with blogging. Fewer words are required damn, you dyslexia!