In a world of galactic nonsense
Okay, I am a dyslexic geek with a love of science fiction. It has not been that long since I was unplugged from the Matrix. I decide not to take any advice so take the wrong colour of pill. Oh, wow man this is impressive, but unlike the matrix, I am a Smeg head aboard the mining ship red dwarf.
As I head through space, I explore Craggy Island and meet interesting people like Father Ted. I come across weird science, doors with skulls and crossbones. I meet up with Bill and Ted for an excellent adventure.
The rest of the world is moving along as if nothing has happened. They have not noticed people are flushed down the toilet as a reject. As you are recovering in a pile of goo you start thinking is this the end? Then Lister turns up with a curry and a can of lager and explains that you don’t need to worry. Kryten makes a big fuss and starts ironing something nice for you to wear from the cat’s wardrobe. Everyone ignores Rimmer saying you cannot stay aboard the mining ship Red Dwarf.
Then you notice with the help of some Hollywood magic you can turn up in the Matrix. Where is Trinity with the fabulous Ducati bike? Instead, you end up with the Adams Family joining hands and singing kumbaya at Camp Chippewa. Let’s get into bringing about world peace! This requires a little help from Dr Evil’s mind-control machine. We will help everyone to be nice to each other for the price of one million dollars!
Gone to the wizard.
Meet Princess Fiona’s fairy godmother, and we will all have our happily ever after!
Then with the aid of Hollywood magic, you enter Moonbase Alpha and stop the nuclear reaction which blows the moon out of orbit. Buck Rodgers never ends up as an astronaut with NASA, to be frozen and returned to Earth 500 years later. Captain Kirk, Spock, and Bones never fight the Klingons or Romulans. Revenge is a dish best served cold; we know it is cold in space.
No Captain! You canny press the reset button. The mission is to help Alice in Narina and see if you can correct the problem. The munchkins are waiting for you saying follow the yellow brick road. Frodo hands you a ring saying the burden is too heavy. Which way is the witch to help solve the problem? Before you know it, you are in the labyrinth to visit Gerad the Goblin King. Do you take the road straight to the castle or the long way around? A dyspraxic sense of direction means taking the long way around! The crowd makes a loud wailing noise and starts shouting you’re going the wrong way! You keep going to solve impossible problems that keep arising. The crowd is yelling you are mad it cannot get done this way! The finish line is in sight viewing the crowd with astonished looks on their faces. People ask you how you did this. No time to stop you must get back to the mining ship Red Dwarf.
The next thing you know you trip and thunder onto the canvas faster than Rocky Balboa! The crowd is shouting boo, but no matter how many knockdowns you keep getting back up. The crowd start to cheer and shout keep going you Smeg head. Finally, George Lukus looks for Mel Brook’s batch of galactic nonsense.