Zoinks 1
Zoinks, after much help and building up my confidence. I enlisted in a course for counselling and psychotherapy. This would be run by COSCA and in the end, I would have a Scottish credit qualification framework (SCQF) to a level 8 the same as an HND. I had lots of friends telling me they thought I would be good at this. So, after 27 years, I entered back into the education system. I can tell you I was very nervous, even though I had come out of school with O grades and Highers. I remember only too well that it was not easy to study. I then went on to nursing college to study mental health. After 18 months I left my course, I put it down to different reasons at the time. One was I was too stupid and could not keep up with the study side. I loved the practical side, but the academic side is more important. It was not until years later I understood I had failed due to my dyslexia.
Zoinks 2
So, one of our first topics was our fears! Well of course mine was keeping up with the academic side. I was lucky that I met a talented group who helped and supported me through the entire course. My lecturer was also very helpful and understanding. If I felt I needed some extra time and help on something, everyone supported me with a bit of guidance. I never joined in the quizzes I could not read the questions fast enough. After numerous years I had to go back to writing an assignment. The word help comes to mind.
Even from the distant past, when writing anything there needs to be a beginning a middle and an end. It is also a great help if the spell check has a clue what you are trying to spell. Also, where to put the correct grammar, as no one reads a 900-word sentence
Zoinks 3
My first essay was 900-1100 words. Everyone else is saying they are well over the word count. I thought these people are awesome my one brain cell is shouting help me I have only written 450 words! Zoinks help me Scooby-Doo but after several failed attempts. I finally got drafted my assignment and emailed it to my tutor. I found that using, mind maps aided my layout of what I wanted to say. I know that using mind maps do not work for everyone, but I find it helps. Then there is the problem of all the notes, diagrams, and spreadsheets you have taken. If you are like me, they end up in one big pile all muddled up. I also try lying them all over the floor, it is still a disorganised mess! Then there is also the problem of trying to work out what word I have written in my notes. The spelling is so bad, it reminds me of the time I asked my Mum how to spell physics. She thought she was being helpful by telling me to look up the dictionary. After hours of searching under F, I tell her I can’t find it. To this day I still tell her it should be spelled fizziks
Past Present Future
Eventually, the course ended it was sad to say goodbye to a bunch of brilliant supportive people. Jings, Crivens, Help ma Boab! I had to prepare a presentation. Everyone else was doing nice little scripts and reading them to the group. My fear and anxiety heightened as I had no confidence in reading, I was disorganised compared to the rest of the group. I would lose my way and feel foolish, so I decided to make it up as I went along. This was also a bad idea, so for future reference, I think I will make wee drawing cards as pointers. The last essay was sent, and the WhatsApp group chat waited to hear how we had all done. It felt like years had gone past even though it was only a few weeks. Eventually, an email came through late one night which I found in the morning. I nervously opened my feedback wondering what it would tell me. I do not believe it, I have passed!
Time for a wee celebration.